


A Cerulean Mask

by illiana



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-06
Updated: 2013-02-06
Packaged: 2017-11-28 09:05:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/672657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/illiana/pseuds/illiana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You were Vriska Serket, and your blood was too blue to ever let you be anything but a jealous bitch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Cerulean Mask

You watched as tears rolled down her cheeks. You watched as she pounded away at the keyboard, Karkat replying with the same machine. You pretended that you didn’t care, that everything was okay. You pretended like you didn’t hate the game for what it had done to you; it seemed that while everyone else grew in some way, you just became more insecure. Your arm was robotic, you were missing seven of your eight eyes. You were damaged goods, and even the king of damaged goods himself -- Tavros -- had made it rather clear that he wasn’t actually interested in you, even though he should have been thrilled that you were placing an interest in him. You, a blue blood! You were so much higher than he was, but he still had the nerve to turn you down.

Just like she had the nerve to push you away when you became too much to handle.

Just like she would have the nerve to kill you.

You remember the FLARPing days, when you two were completely unstoppable. She would pull and you would shove and together you could accomplish anything, survive anything. Then Sgrub happened, and while everyone seemed to be able to mold themselves to fit their title, you had to pretend that your Thief of Light fit you excellently, like you never would have imagined yourself as anything different.

But at the end of the day, she was more comfortable with being the Seer of Mind than you were Thief of Light, even after you were godtier and she was absolutely nothing in comparison. She was herself, but you only ever let John see you as you actually were, and that was only sometimes.

You needed to be perfect. You were the best. You didn't have the fetishes like Equius; you didn't rot away your thinkpan with sopor like Gamzee; you didn't need relationships like Eridan longed for; you weren't innocent like Feferi. Out of the higher colors, you were the best of the group. You knew it. You believed it. With the rest of the trolls you grew up with aiding you, you could redefine what Alternia meant.

Your certainty made it an impossible task to live up to.

When Karkat shrank into himself, blaming himself for how badly things went in the session, you wanted to go die yourself. You were better than Karkat, the absolute best. You didn't need to hide your blood color. Blue ran through your veins and you were the best they would ever get.

It wasn't until you killed Tavros that you realized you weren't happy.

It wasn't until the troll you envied the most, the one who used to be your best friend in the whole world, ran a lance through your back that you realized, finally, that you would never be happy.

You could never be anywhere near as good as your friends. Never as good as Terezi.

You were Vriska Serket, and your blood was too blue to ever let you be anything but a jealous bitch.


End file.
